Friday, August 1, 2014

Vivi: Thirty-Two Weeks (AKA: Pooping the Baby)


Whenever I feel that I might be over-sharing, I comfort myself with the fact that we are living in the age of publicly embarrassing our children.  If some kid ever gives Vivi hell about the fact that her mother discussed her bowel movements on the Internet for God and everyone to see, I'm confident that with some careful digging, we can fight fire with fire.

I may have talked about my baby's bowel movements, kid, but your mom let it slip that you were conceived in the back of an Airstream on the way to Bonnaroo.  Also, here's a graphic picture of your water birth.  Step off.

Anyhow, without going too much into the gory details, let me get you up to speed. Vivi has been having trouble pooping.  Every few weeks she has a really bad episode of constipation.  Imagine, as a grown adult, passing a cantaloupe through your rectum.  That's a good comparison of what Vivi is dealing with.  It's pretty awful.  And to make maters worse, it's not like she passes one single melon and is done with it.  She's a three-day festival of love, peace, and horribly painful poop.

We met with the GI doctor last week.  Here is what I was hoping he'd say: "Oh, it's not dairy causing these problems after all.  It might, in fact, be kale.  Let me run a few tests just to be sure.  In the meantime, here, eat this block of cheese!"

But instead, we were given a prescription for laxatives and some guidelines on what to feed her...not cheese.  Her weight is also lagging again even though the child still eats every two to three hours...even at night.  Holy frustration, Batman.

And so, I introduce to you, what I call a poop cocktail:


 It's a blend of strained prunes, baby oatmeal, pear juice, and laxatives.  She eats it every day for lunch, and so far...we've got poop, Houston.  Every time that little diaper fills up, I do a happy dance.

We also let her sip at a cup of either prune or pear juice at meal times.  How could this girl not be pooping, right?  RIGHT?

Still, the constipation only comes on every three weeks or so.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed and my butt cheeks clenched for at least the next month.

Meanwhile, in non-poop related news, (if you made it this far) Vivi is making "mum" sounds.  "Mum-mum-mum-mum-mum" all day long.  Madeline's first words were "bubba" and "Dada."  I'm hoping I get a Mumma this time.

She's still got a good case of separation anxiety.  Eric tried to put her to bed a few nights ago, and after I left the room, she stared at the door and cried hysterically for half an hour.  If I put her down to do housework, her eyes follow me around the room desperately as she lets out loud bursts of broken-hearted sobs.  It's so nice to be so loved, but nothing gets done around here.

Madeline and Vivi are the cutest siblings on the planet.  Watching them together makes my ovaries quiver every time.  Maddie is really good about sharing with her little sister.  They play all the time.  Vivi thinks Maddie is hilarious.  She laughs at all of her jokes.  Sometimes they both start giggling uncontrollably at one another like they're sharing some secret.

My girls are the best girls.









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