Monday, October 15, 2012

While Dada's Away...

...Mumma realizes she is an unfit parent.

Eric attended his twentieth high school reunion back in New York this weekend, which not only means he's old, but also means Madeline and I had a Mumma-Daughter weekend together.

It started off rocky.  Mere minutes after Eric left, we were playing in the yard, enjoying a beautiful Autumn afternoon, when Madeline decided it would be a good idea to snack on some Lily of the Valley berries sprouting around the perimeter of our yard.  Lily of the Valley berries are poisonous.  

The little stinker slowly held the red berry up to her face, raised one eyebrow at me in a wicked little grin, and just as I cried, "Madeline, nooooo!" popped the thing between her lips.  I rushed over and fished my finger around in her mouth as she mischievously giggled.  Apparently, Madeline finds it hysterical to scare the bejesus out of her poor, dear Mumma.  I'm assuming she swallowed the berry because there was no sign of it left in her mouth.  

After poison control assured me that one single berry was probably not going to do my daughter in,  I started to breath again.  Next weekend, I'll probably have Eric mow those berries down.  Either that or I'll start keeping Madeline on a leash.  Actually, a leash would probably solve a lot of our problems...  

Shortly after the berry incident, I decided to try to wear Madeline out with a walk around the block.  Immediately after closing the door behind me, I realized I had left my keys on the kitchen table.

Not even an hour after Eric left us, I had not only nearly poisoned my child...but now we were on the brink of homelessness.  Bwomp, bwomp.  At this point I started seriously questioning my suitability as a parent.

Not surprisingly, I lock myself out of the house a lot, so we leave a spare with a neighbor.  They were home.  Phew.  

Luckily, the rest of the weekend went pretty smoothly other than the regular day-to-day Maddie wrastling that we've become accustomed to.  Did you know, even if it's cold enough to warrant wearing sweatpants, a sweatshirt, socks, and a camo-print snuggy, Madeline still insists on going sans socks or pants?  When I say we are experienced Maddie wrastlers, I'm not just trying to be funny.  I quite literally wrestle clothing on her sometimes.  I'm bigger, but she's scrappy.

The weekend wasn't all bad though.  In fact, it was mostly good.  We did a fall-themed art project, played in the yard some more, (on a leash of course) met Mimi and Bob for lunch, read books, and watched UP.

Even though I enjoyed some mother-daughter alone time, I think Madeline and I were both very happy to see Eric walk in the door this afternoon.  Although, Madeline sometimes shows her happiness in odd ways.  Like crying for twenty minutes straight and mumbling incoherent objections toward her miserable existence when Eric takes her pacifier away.  But I guess that one is also my fault because I let her use it most of the morning even though it was not night-night time.  Sorry, Eric.  

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