Upon seeing Breaking Dawn yesterday afternoon, I'm really glad the only thing in my tummy this time was a burrito. It's probably the scariest movie for pregnant ladies everywhere since Rosemary's Baby.
Edward has to use his teeth to rip the baby from Bella's womb in an effort to save both of their lives. You see, apparently birthing a baby vampire is not an easy task and their demon spawn's super-human strength breaks Bella's spine in two only moments before. Um, ick...
I think Stephanie Meyers may take full credit for the recent decline in teenage pregnancy. Well, Jenelle Evans probably deserves a little of the credit too.
Meanwhile, poor Bella dies after a completely agonizing birthing experience. (And no, she did not have an epidural.)
Luckily, Edward just happens to be a vampire. (Life-lesson #1: Do not have unprotected sex with the undead...apparently they can still reproduce.) Therefore, he is able to change her into a vampire as she lies dying, which means??? there gets to be a Breaking Dawn Part 2 in a few months. I must admit, the part where they showed Bella's transformation from a broken new mother to a smokin' hot vampire was pretty bad ass. It almost made up for the part with the talking wolves....almost.
In short, it was as terrible and as inexplicably awesome as I expected it to be. Oh, Twilight...responsible for unhealthy teenage relationships since 2009.
Best part? The Hunger Games trailer before the movie started. The nerd fest never ends.