Friday, November 4, 2011

30 Days of Thanks: Day Four

Today I am thankful for this book my parents bought for me:


During the power outage, there wasn't much to do.  The book I'm currently reading (Clash of Kings. Nerd Alert.) is on my Ipad, and it's probably too creepy for someone like me to read during a power outage anyhow.

Obviously, my mind began wandering to the impending Zombie Apocalypse because unless there's something electronic to distract me at night, I'm either thinking about that or the asteroid the size of Texas that will eventually kill all living things on earth except for me and handful of cannibals.

Luckily, I had this guide to keep me sane.  It made me feel like I had some control in an otherwise hopeless situation.

If Zombies decided to strike during a power outage on Halloween, (it's almost like they planned it, am I right?)  I would be prepared.

I now know that in the case of a Zombie outbreak, I should knock before entering any room in case a zombie is on the other side of the door.  They are not smart enough to stay quiet and hide; they will make noise.

In the case of a Class 1 outbreak, one should stay home because your house is unlikely to be attacked.  However, In the case of a Class 4 outbreak, one should head as far away from human civilization as possible.  This is good seeing as the solution to most of my doomsday scenarios involve Vermont.

Boats, in any form, are also the safest way of fleeing a zombie attack.  However, just because one is in a boat that does not mean that they are safe.  The undead can live underwater as well.  Luckily, the book gives detailed instructions on how to "fish" for waterborne zombies.

These are just a few of the many, many, many reasons that I am thankful that my parents gave me this book.  Thanks Mom and Bob.

P.S.  I swear I am not making a mockery of being thankful.  I really do worry about Zombies and asteroids on a semi-regular basis.

1 comment:

  1. Seriously...Chris' addiction to 'The Walking Dead' has me constantly worrying and planning for the Zombie Apocolypse. To the point where I don't walk the dogs after dark anymore, and I always lock the doors with the deadbolt seeing as the show proved that Zombies can open an unlocked door. Totally horrifying and I am, yet again, being serious.

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