This week was both ridiculously hard and surprisingly easy.
Monday morning went very smoothly. We had all our bottles ready to go. I had Madeline's outfits for the next three weeks laid out. (Assuming she still fits in them. Iffy...) I didn't even cry. All I ever hear from new moms is how hard they cried on their child's first day of daycare. Not me. I was fine. This led me to believe that there was something wrong with me. Do I have attachment issues? Are my tear ducts broken? Am I a bad mumma?
And then...Wednesday hit. I cried a bit on Wednesday night into Thursday morning. (Hoo-ray, my heart is not made of granite after all!) By then I was missing my baby like crazy, and I was tired of getting bottles ready every waking moment of the day. Plus, Madeline was not her usual self. This made me miss her even more. I wanted my Maddie Bear back. She wouldn't look or smile at me. I worried she had attachment issues. I worried her smile muscles were broken. I worried that I am a bad mumma.
Meanwhile, Maddie's teachers assure me that she's been a happy, easy baby during the days. Again, apparently she saves all her pent-up aggression for me.
Thursday night was better. It turns out Madeline had been hungry. I wasn't putting enough in her bottles. (Sadly my breasts do not come with ounce measurements, but they should so that I know how much to put in Maddie's bottles.) Anyhow, Madeline was more like her old self on Thursday night. She smiled at me. She sat on my lap and stared at me adoringly. We had some girl talk. It was great. Plus, my parents stopped by to bring me turkey soup and a Snickers. Snickers make everything better.
This afternoon was another good afternoon. Fridays are so much more meaningful now that I'm back to work! She's been talking up a storm all afternoon, and now she's falling asleep for the night as I write this. (At least I'm hoping she's falling asleep.)
As for my job? That part is going surprisingly easy so far. (Knock on wood.) Maybe it's because there's a good curriculum already in place. Maybe it's because I have an awesome coworker who gave me lots of silly drawings of Romeo hiding behind Plymouth Rock to show my children. Maybe it's because I know Romeo and Juliet so well that I might in fact actually be Leonardo DiCaprio. Maybe it's simply because my priorities have changed, and worrying about work is no longer at the top of my list. Who knows? At any rate, I feel like I never left the building. I'm in my groove. I like my students. I like my job. Hoo-Ray!
So here's to week one of many. Let's hope we have a smooth course ahead of us!